I first started taking Diazepam in South East Asia, where they are widely available on the black market. The danger with that though is that you are never 100% sure that the dose you are taking is accurate, and whether or not there are any other chemicals in the tablets (fake meds).
Diazepam, first marketed as Valium, is a medicine of the benzodiazepine family that typically produces a calming effect. It is commonly used to treat a range of conditions including anxiety, alcohol withdrawal syndrome, benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome (ironic!), muscle spasms, seizures, trouble sleeping, and restless legs syndrome. It may also be used to cause memory loss during certain medical procedures. It can be taken by mouth, inserted into the rectum, injected into muscle, or injected into a vein. When given into a vein, effects begin in one to five minutes and last up to an hour. By mouth, effects may take 40 minutes to begin.
Common side effects include sleepiness and trouble with coordination. Side effects include suicide, decreased breathing, and an increased risk of seizures if used too frequently. Occasionally excitement or agitation may occur. Long term use can result in tolerance, dependence, and withdrawal symptoms on dose reduction. Abrupt stopping after long-term use can be potentially dangerous. After stopping, cognitive problems may persist for six months or longer. It is not recommended during pregnancy or breastfeeding.
They helped me to zone out from the inner anguish I was experiencing at the time. You have to be really careful when taking this drug. One time I was in Bangkok, and had to catch a flight to Yangon, Myanmar. I got to Bangkok airport to find that I had missed my flight by hours, so I went back into Bangkok city and caught a flight the next day. Once I got to Yangon, I had no recollection of missing my flight or getting to Yangon! I was on Valium for about a year or so, towards the end I started to feel that they were poisoning me, and the black outs were scary as.
I found it’s best to taper off diazepam gradually.